Tips
To Discovering Your Ideal Relationship(s)!
By: Juanita Bellavance
© 2005
All rights reserved.
Notice how relationships
affect our disposition, our productivity, our happiness, our diversity,
our flexibility, our energy and more.
Or do they?
Once we realize our role
in the impact of relationships on our lives we are set free to enjoy
healthy and wholesome connectedness with others. How can a relationship
affect our well-being or productivity unless we allow it by our
attachment to how we think the relationship should be.
In business we often
are told to describe our ideal client. Once we have defined our
ideal client clearly, we are able to attract those people. Not only
that, we are able to quickly tell the difference between our ideal
client and one that is not so ideal. They either fit the description
or they don’t.
The same is true of relationships.
The easiest way to define an ideal client is to think of a person
who was a pure joy to work with or for. Simply describe that person.
After all, it is a client relationship you have described.
Almost
as simply, you can define your ideal relationship. Here are a few
tips:
- How do you
know if you have or had the ideal relationship with your parents?
On what did you base your idea of what an ideal parent was? Maybe
as you consider your relationship with your parents, it was better
than the parent relationships your friends had. Or, maybe you
look at your friends’ relationships with parents as more
the ideal you desire. Either way, take a moment and list everything
you consider to be ideal in a relationship with parents at the
age you are right now.
- What about
your relationship with your children? Is it easy? Difficult? Non-existent?
Describe at least three moments in time when it seemed like your
relationship with your children was your idea of perfection. You
know it has happened more than three times. Describe each time
and notice the common thread in the three situations. What made
the special connection happen? What was different on those days?
Whatever it was, create that on purpose over and over until it
is just the way it is naturally – and not occasionally.
- And your
friends? As you consider all the friends you have had throughout
your life, what has been your favorite traits in your friends?
Do you complain about everything together? Or do you create new
and exciting futures together? Or do you just share the great
things that happen along your way? Do you talk every day for an
hour or more or once a week, month, year? Describe times in your
life when it seemed you had friends easily. What were the circumstances
around you. What made the difference during those times? Describe
exactly what it was that made that friend so special to you. These
are traits you would probably enjoy in a significant other as
well. Write them down clearly and specifically.
- And finally,
what about your significant other. When you met what attracted
you to the person? Did you choose them or did they choose you?
Notice what you like best about your person and list those things.
What you focus on expands so get focusing on your favorite qualities
in your significant other. If you don’t have a special person
yet, perfect! You can list the traits you cherish in your favorite
relationships over your life. Then, when you meet someone, notice
how many of those traits they have naturally. No one is perfect,
yet you get to say how much of your ideal you are willing to give
up, if any.
And now for
the clincher. Once you have described your ideal relationship in
each category above, what kind of person do you imagine that ideal
one would be looking for? What are you willing to do to be the ideal
person for them? It’s always a two-way situation, whether
in a personal relationship or a client relationship. Your ideal
client is looking for the ideal person to serve their needs. Be
your ideal person and you will magnetically attract the same. Remember
the old adage, “Birds of a feather flock together.”
Whenever the same thing is repeated for years or centuries you can
count on there is something to it. Find out what.
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Juanita Bellavance, the author of this article is known for understanding
what a client needs to succeed. She can look at what’s missing
and lead a client into seeing for themselves their own power over
it. Because of this realization of their power, people have a shift
in belief level. And that shift ignites them into action! Visit
Juanita at:www.assureyoursuccess.com
To schedule your initial coaching session, email your request to
Juanita@AssureYourSuccess.com
with “Consult” in the subject line. Individual slots
are filling fast. Only three left. Visit Juanita’s coaching
website at: www.assuredsuccesslifecoach.com
. What the heck is Brainspeak? Go here and see: http://www.assuredsuccesslifecoach.com/Brainspeak/
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